There comes a point in many women’s lives when they begin questioning themselves.
Why am I so tired all the time? Why can’t I think as clearly as I used to? Why has intimacy changed? Why do I suddenly feel like a stranger in my own body?
For many, those questions arrive during perimenopause or menopause. The frustrating part isn’t just the symptoms; it’s how often they’re brushed aside. Women are told it’s stress, aging, or simply “part of life.” They leave appointments with more questions than answers, wondering whether they’re overreacting or if this is just what getting older is supposed to feel like.
Kim Bilyk has spent years hearing those stories.
An occupational therapist, yoga therapist, women’s health coach, and founder widely known as the “Queen of Turn On,” Kim has built her work around helping women better understand their bodies instead of fearing the changes they’re experiencing. Joining Sam Tejada, CEO and Founder of Liquivida®, on “A Healthy Point of View” podcast, she shared why so many women feel disconnected from themselves, and why that disconnect often has less to do with age than with a lack of education and conversation.
Everything Women Over 40 Need to Know About Hormones, Intimacy & Menopause | Kim Bilyk | Ep. 159
The Symptoms No One Warns Women About
When people think about menopause, hot flashes are usually the first thing that comes to mind. But Kim says the reality is much more complex. Many of the women she works with aren’t just dealing with temperature changes. They’re struggling with brain fog that makes work harder than it used to be. They’re exhausted after getting what should have been a full night’s sleep. Some notice their moods changing for reasons they can’t explain, while others find that sex has become uncomfortable or that their desire has quietly disappeared.
The hardest part, she says, is that these changes rarely happen overnight.
“They start wondering what’s wrong with them,” Kim explains during the conversation. “They don’t realize there are hormonal shifts happening beneath the surface.”
That uncertainty can be isolating. Women often blame themselves before considering that their bodies may simply be entering a new stage of life.
These symptoms don’t just affect health. They spill into careers, relationships, parenting, and confidence. When someone isn’t sleeping well, doesn’t recognize their own energy levels, and no longer feels comfortable in their body, it impacts nearly every part of daily life.
Why Pelvic Health Deserves More Attention
One of the biggest surprises in the conversation was how little attention pelvic floor health receives until something goes wrong. For many women, it’s only discussed after childbirth or when issues like bladder leakage begin interfering with everyday life.
Kim believes that’s far too late. She compares the pelvic floor to any other group of muscles in the body. People strengthen their core, train their legs, and work on their balance without thinking twice. Yet the muscles that support the bladder, bowel, and reproductive organs are rarely talked about, even though they play a major role in quality of life.
Learning how to connect with those muscles before pregnancy, she explains, can also make a difference during childbirth and recovery afterward. It’s less about preparing for one specific event and more about becoming familiar with a part of the body many women have never been taught to understand.
Throughout the discussion, Sam repeatedly circled back to a simple idea: prevention.
Healthcare often becomes reactive. People wait until pain, discomfort, or dysfunction appears before asking questions. Kim hopes women begin having those conversations much earlier.
Looking at the Bigger Picture
One thing that stood out throughout the episode was Kim’s refusal to separate physical health from emotional well-being. She isn’t suggesting that every symptom has an emotional cause. Rather, she encourages women to look beyond individual complaints and consider everything happening in their lives.
Chronic stress. Poor sleep. Relationship challenges. Work pressures. Hormonal changes. None of these exist in isolation.
A woman dealing with several of them at once may not simply need another item added to her supplement cabinet. She may need time to slow down and understand what her body has been trying to communicate all along.
That idea resonates throughout Kim’s work. Rather than encouraging women to fight against their bodies, she wants them to become more curious about them.
What changed? When did it start? Is there a pattern? Those questions often reveal far more than people expect.
The Power of Paying Attention
One practical tool Kim recommends is surprisingly simple: tracking.
Many women know roughly when their menstrual cycle begins, but few spend time noticing how their mood, energy, focus, sleep, or libido change throughout the month.
That’s one reason she created the Womb Wisdom Journal. Instead of viewing the menstrual cycle as something inconvenient, the journal encourages women to observe it with curiosity. Over time, they begin recognizing patterns that once felt random.
Maybe they consistently feel creative during one phase of their cycle. Maybe difficult conversations always seem harder during another. Maybe fatigue appears on the same days every month. Kim says those observations can be incredibly empowering because they replace confusion with understanding.
Women stop asking, “Why am I like this?” Instead, they begin saying, “I’ve noticed this happens every month.”
That’s a very different conversation.
It shifts the focus from frustration to awareness, giving women information they can use when making decisions about work, relationships, exercise, and self-care.
The more familiar women become with their own patterns, the less likely they are to feel caught off guard by them.
Why Intimacy Isn’t “Just About Sex”
For many women, the first noticeable change during perimenopause or menopause isn’t a hot flash. It’s realizing they don’t feel like themselves anymore. They may still love their partner deeply, but their interest in sex has changed, or intimacy has become uncomfortable. That’s where confusion often begins.
Kim said she sees this all the time. “The first assumption is usually that something is wrong with the relationship,” she explained. In reality, the issue may have far more to do with what’s happening inside the body than what’s happening between two people.
When estrogen levels change, so can vaginal lubrication, sensitivity, and overall comfort. Poor sleep, chronic stress, and pelvic floor tension can add another layer. It’s not difficult to see how all of those factors combined can leave someone feeling disconnected from intimacy.
That doesn’t mean the relationship is failing. It means the conversation needs to be bigger than, “Why don’t you want sex anymore?”
Slowing Down Before Looking for Solutions
Women are incredibly good at pushing through discomfort. They’re used to putting work first. Family first. Everyone else first. Eventually, many stop noticing what their own body has been trying to tell them.
That’s why she places so much emphasis on slowing down. Not because it’s another wellness trend, but because most people rarely stop long enough to ask themselves a simple question: How am I actually feeling today? Breathwork is one way she encourages women to do that.
Kim described it as less of a technique and more of a reset. A few intentional breaths can help shift attention away from endless mental noise and back toward the body.
It’s a small practice, but for someone who’s spent years operating on autopilot, even a few quiet minutes can feel unfamiliar.
Talking About Topics Most People Avoid
One of the more unexpected moments in the podcast came when Kim pulled out a bag of herbs.
Sam laughed and asked if they were about to make tea.
Not exactly.
The herbs were actually for vaginal steaming, sometimes called Yoni steaming.
Instead of assuming listeners already knew what that meant, Sam asked the question many people were probably thinking. “What does Yoni actually mean?”
Kim explained that Yoni is a Sanskrit word connected to the womb space. While it includes the vagina, she said the meaning is broader than anatomy alone. It represents a woman’s reproductive and creative center.
From there, she walked through how vaginal steaming is traditionally done. Herbs are placed in hot water inside a glass or ceramic bowl, and the steam is allowed to gently rise while the woman sits comfortably above it, creating a tent with a blanket or long skirt to keep the warmth in.
Kim shared that different herbal blends are used depending on what a woman is trying to address. She mentioned menstrual discomfort, pelvic pain, vaginal dryness, postpartum recovery, fertility support, and recurring infections among the reasons some women explore the practice.
She was also careful to point out that it isn’t appropriate for everyone. Women who are pregnant, for example, should not steam.
Rather than presenting vaginal steaming as a cure-all, Kim described it as another tool, one that some women find meaningful because it creates intentional time to slow down and reconnect with themselves.
Reclaiming a Conversation Women Never Really Had
Perhaps the most striking thing about the interview wasn’t any single wellness practice.
It was how comfortable Kim was talking about subjects that many women were taught to avoid altogether.
Pelvic floors. Pleasure. Desire. Menopause. Vaginal health.
For years, those conversations have often happened in whispers, if they happened at all.
Kim believes that silence has left generations of women thinking their experiences are unusual when, in reality, they’re incredibly common.
The more openly women talk about these changes, the easier it becomes to recognize when something isn’t right, seek help sooner, and realize they aren’t navigating these experiences alone.
A Better Question to Ask Yourself
Before wrapping up the episode, Sam asked Kim what she hopes women take away from her work.
Her answer wasn’t about buying a product or following a complicated routine.
It was about paying attention. Instead of waiting until something feels unbearable, she encourages women to check in with themselves regularly. Notice changes. Track patterns. Be curious instead of critical.
That’s also what inspired her to create the Womb Wisdom Journal, a tool designed to help women understand how their cycle, energy, emotions, and physical symptoms change over time.
The goal isn’t to control every symptom. It’s to become familiar with your own body.
Because once you understand your normal, it’s much easier to recognize when something has changed.